Do you find yourself arguing with your partner often? When you argue, does it seem as if your partner is attacking you verbally, calling you names, or frequently telling you to be quiet? By themselves, these incidents may not mean anything, but combined, they are a sign of verbal abuse.
When you and your partner argue, does your partner react to you instead of respond to what you have to say? Although they may sound similar, each word has a very different meaning. For instance:
Now, think of this in terms of your partner. Do they blow up when you are having a disagreement? Is their reaction to the situation over-the-top, beyond what the conversation warrants?
You might remember some of the qualities of bullying behavior from school. For example:
Bullying behavior isn’t something that you ought to tolerate in any situation, let alone in your own home.
Another sign of verbal abuse that can go along with being a bully is the constant critic. No matter what you do, it’s never right. Whether it’s cooking a meal, performing a household chore, or even what you do in your professional life, it’s never enough. Having to face constant criticism is not only hard, it’s emotionally demoralizing.
Dr. Berit Brogaard, D.M. Sci., Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today, “15 Signs of Verbal Abuse,” a sign of verbal abuse called “abusive anger.” This is when your partner screams and yells at you, or tells you to “shut-up.” Being told to shut up is not just rude behavior. It’s a not-so-subtle way of telling you you’re your perspective and opinion isn’t appreciated. That you don’t count. When this happens, your partner is not being respectful to you. Dr. Brogaard notes that there are better ways of handling people than yelling at them or telling them to shut-up.
When you are at home with your partner, are you always wondering when the next blowup will occur? Consequently, do you tread lightly around your partner, not wanting to set them off? This constant state of fear means that you never really feel emotionally safe with your partner, or in your own home.
Ever feel this way? That’s because verbal abuse is a form of control. A healthy relationship ought to be based on respect and love, not who has control over whom. Some of the warning signs include:
If you decide to push back, do you and your partner begin arguing? Most likely he or she winds up reacting instead of thoughtfully responding to you.
Arguing is not, in itself, a sign of verbal abuse. Just about every couple, in every city, including Rexburg, ID, has arguments. However, it can be abusive when it gets personal, when it happens often, and when it involves bullying and control. These are not the signs of a healthy relationship, and no-one deserves to be verbally abused.