First off, congratulations on your engagement. What an exciting time in your life! We understand you have a lot on your plate with wedding planning, but we are happy you are looking into premarital counseling. By taking advantage of the benefits of premarital counseling, you can ensure that the littles issues occurring now don’t become big problems later.
We Love Each Other, Why Get Premarital Counseling?
Of course you love each other, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things worth talking about. Participating in marriage counseling before you get married can help head off potential problems later on down the line. For instance, counseling
- Makes sure you are both on the same page regarding key issues: children, money, work-life balance, faith.
- Encourages discussion of your feelings about getting married, including joys and fears.
- Ensures that you are both ready for the commitment of marriage.
The Statistics of Premarital Counseling
When you are getting ready to take your first driver’s license test, what do you do? You prepare for it by receiving a permit and spend hours driving with someone who has spent years driving. You may even pay for a professional driving school to help you be the best you can. What if everyone took the same amount of time and commitment to learning about marriage as they did driving? A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology that states couples who received premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce, but only about 32% of couples engage in premarital counseling. And St. Catherine University reports in their study that 94.6% of people who participated in premarital counseling would recommend it to other couples. Compare these numbers to modern divorce statistics. According to the National Center for Family & Marriage Research for every two marriages, there is nearly one divorce in the United States as of 2015. What are the results? Just statistically speaking, if you decide to participate in Premarital counseling your chances of having a successful marriage go up.
Premarital Counseling Benefits
Beyond the statistics, engaging in counseling with your partner before marriage has life-changing benefits to you. A professional counselor who has the experience, knowledge, and tools to help you succeed can impart wisdom and teach skills to you and your loved one. This knowledge will empower you to understand each other better. It will help you work through conflicts as they come. And it will help you prepare for a life of happiness together as you learn to work on being the best person you can be for each other.
Premarital counseling helps you think about your marriage beyond the engagement. You may learn things about each other you wouldn’t have thought to even ask before including things like communicating love or preparing finances. You will begin to meld together as a unit prepared to overcome life’s challenges together.
Identifying and Addressing Stressors in a Relationship
Another one of the benefits of premarital counseling is that it can help you identify any stressors in your relationship. Do you ever feel your partner judges you when you express your opinion? Are you both equally invested in your relationship? Are there been particular issues find yourselves arguing about? These topics are addressed in marriage counseling prior to marriage.
Learning Communication Skills for Your Marriage
Premarital counseling effectively teaches you both communication tools to be applied to your life together. For example:
- Know how to respond appropriately to your partner.
- Avoid pushing blame onto your partner.
- Listen more attentively and effectively to each other.
- Create an open dialogue where both of your perspectives are valued.
Learn to effectively communicate now, before you marry your partner. This will helpfully prepare you before life brings on the life challenges you will face as a couple — challenges like raising a child or having to go through a medical crisis.
Learning How to Appropriately Handle Stress in Marriage
Let’s face it; everyone has stress in their lives. Couples have to balance budgets, pay bills, and manage all the details that come their way. This can be stressful, and for some, the stress can lead to unhealthy behaviors. At the least, you may find yourself snapping at your partner or being argumentative. A more extreme example includes participating in substance abuse and other risky behavior. Marriage counseling can teach each of you to manage stress better and deal with it appropriately.
But We Don’t Believe in Divorce, So Why Get Premarital Counseling?
Because, unfortunately, the statistics show the odds of successful marriage are discouraging. This means enduring arguments and hurt feelings and, then, separation. For families with children, the effects can be even more daunting. If you had the chance, why not invest in your relationship now to potentially help avoid problems later on?