Infidelity Counseling

Infidelity Counseling and First Steps

When your spouse cheats and is unfaithful, it may seem like millions of questions come up at once. However, there is a clear way to navigate the confusion and emotional turmoil of a spouse’s infidelity.

  • C. Smith
    open-quote I look forward to each appointment and know that I will be treated with the utmost care, respect, and professionalism. I highly recommend this facility to others. close-quote
    C. Smith
  • E. Morgan
    open-quote I've seen a dramatic change in my life since beginning my treatment at Integrated Counseling, and I will be forever grateful for my time there. close-quote
    E. Morgan
  • Emma
    open-quote I went to integrated counseling for two years for eating disorder recovery. Every week, I loved meeting with my counselor to celebrate my successes and work through the barriers that come with mental health challenges. My counselor thoroughly explained the reasons behind eating disorder behaviors, showed empathy with hard topics, and helped me overcome Issues I had dealt with for years. I looked forward to each session.  I am in a healthier state of mind and in a better place in life because of the thoughtfulness, kindness, and professionalism that my counselor showed me close-quote
    Emma
  • M.S.
    open-quote I am a 56 year old woman who has struggled with disordered eating for the past 42 years of my life. It wasn’t until I found my counselor with Integrated Counseling, that I started to reverse all the ill effects of dieting, issues around controlling all my food and letting go of my fat phobia. The program that my counselor guided me through was an awesome mix of self compassion, intuitive eating and movement, being present in all aspects of life and stopping judgement towards myself and others. I am convinced that I would not be nearly as far along in my healing process were it not for my counselor. She was gentle yet firm, patient and incredibly understanding. I am left with all the tools I need to proceed through life on my continued recovery journey. close-quote
    M.S.
  • E. A.
    open-quote As a young woman who has struggled with body image and a relationship with food for most of my life, receiving counseling for my eating disorder was the only way I could finally see light at the end of my dark tunnel. My anorexia had consumed me to a point where food, exercise, and the way I perceived my body controlled my thoughts and feelings every hour of the day. It wasn't until I sought out counseling and had a desire to recover that I am finally healing. These past three years receiving professional help have truly saved my life. I am now the healthiest I have ever been. Without a shadow of a doubt, I would encourage any person who is struggling with an eating disorder to not be afraid to reach out and trust that you can finally learn to love yourself. close-quote
    E. A.
  • E.G.
    open-quote I went to integrated counseling for two years for eating disorder recovery. Every week, I loved meeting with my counselor to celebrate my successes and work through the barriers that come with mental health challenges. My counselor thoroughly explained the reasons behind eating disorder behaviors, showed empathy with hard topics, and helped me overcome Issues I had dealt with for years. I looked forward to each session.  I am in a healthier state of mind and in a better place in life because of the thoughtfulness, kindness, and professionalism that my counselor showed me. close-quote
    E.G.
  • V.G.
    open-quote I had Annie as my therapist and she’s one of the best therapists I’ve ever had. She’s great at listening to what I need and making sure I’m comfortable no matter what. I love her and it’s because of her I know how to communicate and trust my therapists! Thank you! close-quote
    V.G.
  • Alexandria N.
    open-quote This place changed my life. I haven’t been there in about 4 years now, but I was reflecting over my experience and thought they deserved a good review. I originally went to see Luke back in 2017 to deal with my depression. After visiting with him for a few months we came to the conclusion that I was dealing with undiagnosed ADHD. My life has significantly improved because of Luke and my diagnosis. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. close-quote
    Alexandria N.
  • Kelsey H.
    open-quote I've gone to many Counselor places, but this seems to be the one. Excellent Service! By both the therapists and the staff! Very friendly and professional! The atmosphere is great as well! They don't take Medicaid sadly, but they have multiple kinds of professionals and services to fit your need! They also have an excellent website. They are good at communicating to you and each other, so that nothing goes wrong. close-quote
    Kelsey H.
  • Emma M.
    open-quote I have loved my time with Integrated Counseling and Wellness. The staff made me feel comfortable and well taken care of. My therapist, Liz, was incredible. You can tell she is professionally trained, well qualified, and truly cares for her patients. I've seen a dramatic change in my life since beginning my treatment at Integrated Counseling, and I will be forever grateful for my time there. close-quote
    Emma M.
  • Noah K.
    open-quote I have had nothing but a positive experience in my time receiving counseling at Integrated Counseling and Wellness. The staff is incredibly friendly and professional and the environment is conducive to peace and calm. I have made and continue to make great strides in improving my mental health thanks to my time here. close-quote
    Noah K.
  • Ann O.
    open-quote LouAnn Stermer is an excellent counselor who cares deeply about her clients. In the past, I worked with her at 2 different times over several years. She always acted in a professional manner and with a great deal of integrity. Integrated Counseling is very lucky to have her. close-quote
    Ann O.
  • Jessica E.
    open-quote Luke Einerson is amazing! I always had the hardest time falling asleep, and with one visit, Luke made the perfect herbal mixture that has made all the difference! He was very knowledgeable and caring! Highly recommend him if you are looking for a more natural Herbal alternative! close-quote
    Jessica E.
  • Cody H.
    open-quote I have witnessed Luke's work with clients and can attest to his passion, compassion, and skill at delivering client-specific care. Luke really cares about the people he works with, and he is talented at seeing their potential to creatively help them realize that for themselves. close-quote
    Cody H.
  • Grace C.
    open-quote Luke is an Executive Coach with a solid entrepreneurial experience and deep understanding of the healthcare ecosystem. This combined with his strong listening skills and “out of the box” thinking approach, brings a unique edge to his coaching practice. close-quote
    Grace C.
  • J Waite
    open-quote I have experienced incredible growth with the help of my counselor here. Best counseling I have ever had! close-quote
    J Waite
 

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SAFETY WHEN FACING INFIDELITY

The first consideration for you and your family is to determine whether you are safe in your current living situation. According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control (CDC), unstable and or unhealthy marriage relationships can be a contributing factor to the likelihood of intimate partner violence. Some things to consider include:

  • Finding a safe place if your partner is still at home. This can include checking into a hotel, staying with a friend or relative, or staying at a shelter if necessary.
  • Ensuring that your children are safe too.
  • If necessary, take the legal steps for filing a restraining order.

INFIDELITY COUNSELING

The emotional turmoil that comes with infidelity does not have to be gone through alone, nor should it. It is hard to think, “What happens next,” or “Where do I go from here.” The reality is every situation is different. There is no one answer that can be written here without working directly with you to help you find the right path to help you gain the wellness you deserve. It is strongly encouraged to seek out a trained professional to help you through this time in your life.

FEEL EMOTIONS APPROPRIATELY WHEN FACING INFIDELITY

It is important to allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise when learning of your spouse’s infidelity. Keeping emotions bottled up inside can be unhealthy for you. Also, you don’t want to vent those emotions to the wrong people, like your children and certainly not your spouse, which can make things worse. Infidelity can cause you to feel angry, sad, less trustful, etc. Seek out a therapist who is trained in marriage counseling to help express your feelings in a safe environment.

BE AWARE OF DEPRESSION WHEN FACING INFIDELITY

Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful can certainly be the starting point for depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, some warning signs of depression can include:

  • Lack of interest in things that once brought you joy
  • Negative outlook on life
  • Having trouble sleeping
  • Eating too much
  • Feeling constantly fatigued
  • Irritability

If you are depressed, it means that your brain is not working at its optimal potential. If you are facing the infidelity of a spouse/partner, you need all of your mental capabilities to process the experience and to be healthy. Also, be aware of your use of alcohol or drugs, as these can contribute to depression and make things worse.

MAINTAIN A ROUTINE WHEN FACING INFIDELITY

Your world has just been turned upside down, so, as much as possible, try to maintain a daily routine. The continuity can help address the disruption in your life that has been caused by the infidelity. Try these things:

  • Keep your morning routine, such as making a hot beverage, reading, or exercising.
  • Don’t cancel important appointments, such as doctor’s visits.
  • Even though you may have to take some time off from work or rearrange your work schedule, don’t make major changes with your job. Fulfill your work commitments.
  • Spend time with your children.
  • Continue doing the things that you enjoy, such as hobbies, recreational activities, etc.

CONSIDER THE NEXT STEP WHEN FACING INFIDELITY

Of course, there is always the “Next Step” to consider when facing issues of infidelity in your relationship. That would be, “Do I stay with this person or not?” In some cases, that question may be answered for you, with your partner leaving the relationship. Or, you may feel that it is necessary for the relationship to end. A third option is that you try to work with your partner to process the experience and find a way to stay together.
Whatever you decide, make sure that you have considered all of the options, as well as the pros/cons of each. This is where working with a therapist can be helpful. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.
The infidelity of a spouse can be a traumatic experience for anyone to face. The act can trigger emotions and safety concerns for yourself and your children. However, it is something you can get through, providing you have the support in place to make the best decisions you can.

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