I have experienced incredible growth with the help of my counselor here. Best counseling I have ever had!
Emotions Are Okay
It is normal to have very strong and painful emotions after learning of infidelity. How you manage these emotions and where they lead you is the more important issue. They can lead to growth, healing, rebuilding of relationships and trust or they can turn inward, leading to more anger, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, etc. and further deteriorate your health. It is critical to seek out a therapist who is trained in marriage counseling, preferably a licensed marriage and family therapist, to help deal and process the infidelity you are dealing with.
Watch for Depression
Discovering that your spouse/partner has been unfaithful can certainly be the starting point for depression. This is more than just feeling down or losing interest in things. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, some warning signs of depression can include:
- Lack of interest in things that once brought you joy
- A negative outlook on life
- Having trouble sleeping
- Eating too much
- Feeling constantly fatigued
- Irritability
Also, be aware of your use of alcohol or drugs, as these can contribute to depression, which will negatively add to your experience.
Maintain a Routine
Your world has just been turned upside down, so, as much as possible, try to maintain a daily routine. This is especially important for children as they are often cued into the emotional environment in the home and may feel unsettled or worried with increased stress or distance by parents. The continuity can help address the disruption in your life that has been caused by the infidelity. Try these things:
- Keep your morning routine, such as making a hot beverage, reading, or exercising.
- Don’t cancel important appointments, such as doctor’s visits.
- Even though you may have to take some time off from work or rearrange your work schedule, don’t make major changes with your job. Fulfill your work commitments.
- Spend time with your children.
- Continue doing the things that you enjoy, such as hobbies, recreational activities, etc.
Ask for Help
Time does not heal all wounds. Ignoring the hurt or trying to “move on” is like covering a deep cut with a bandaid without cleaning, disinfecting or sewing up the wound and expecting it to go away.
With support and guidance, you and your partner can take the steps necessary to heal and rebuild the marriage and relationship. There is hope if there is a commitment to the relationship and the family. We offer a free 15 minute consultation with one of our licensed marriage and family therapists to hear your story and decide what the path to healing might look like. We are here when you are ready to get help.